This morning we arrived at school promptly at 8:30 AM sharp, bookbags and lunches at the ready, gym shoes appropriately on the right feet. Great! Now let’s do that again tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow!

I am glad to be back into some form of structure. Right now I’m sitting at home alone (just me and the cats and the guinea pigs, that is) and I’m listening to music on Pandora.com. If you don’t know Pandora, and you like listening to music, then you should really check it out. It’s free to listen to music, you don’t download anything, and they have just about everything. .

I feel really good. I am delighted that the holidays are “done” and I feel really satisfied. I do wish D (my husband) were able to get a break like I had. Having two full weeks to reset my brain, focus on home, etc., was really nice. Yes, he was off for some of the time, too. But he seems really stressed out and not at all re-charged. This makes me sad.

I have no New Years Resolutions at this point. I mean, I could think of some things that I could just, well, ignore. I don’t know about lofty goals. I do wish I’d get the hang of being prompt to school and work Every Day. This kind of drudgery isn’t my thing, unfortunately. But I think if I make up new ways to think of it, new rewards, new systems, say every month or so… that might help.

I wish more people visited / read / commented here at This Examined Life. I could make it a goal to publicize my blog more in the new year. It is so lonely writing and not knowing if someone (besides D) is reading it. I wish I knew what creative and fun ways that other people tackle the everyday challenges of work and parenthood — well that is actually one of the reasons I enjoy reading other people’s blogs!

The next time I do a conceptual overhaul on my home/work routines, I’ll try to blog about it and share here what works, what doesn’t.

Happy New Year, Internet Buddies Far and Near!!!

Oh, and, here’s a picture from Christmas morn. Note the presents stacked all around the … guinea pig cage?!? We had the world’s smallest Christmas tree, a live baby tree in a pot, but up on a pedestal and it’s not in the picture!

Just before the holidays, I felt impelled to think about making all the presents for people. Here’s how it actually played out.

Handmade Holiday Gifts:

- Home-made Biscotti — I made chocolate almond with orange zest biscotti, and drizzled them with chocolate. Then I put together little plates of these cookies and gave a plate to my mom, one to my in-laws, and one to my grandmother in law.

- Pictures in frames / books — Not exactly homemade, but personal at least. I gave some photos of the kiddos to all of the above.

- Pumpkin Butter - I gave a jar of my homemade pumpkin butter to my mother in law.

- A handmade knit hat - It wasn’t knit by me, but it was really nice. Gave to my mom.

Re-gifted… I gave a crystal water pitcher to my mom. I think it will go better in her china cabinet than mine.

I did not write my children’s book to give to my kids (should really get around to that. Maybe for next year?!)

I did not sew anything this year. (Too bad, I love sewing!)

I did make a really nice big dinner on Christmas — that was fun and tasty too.

It was a good year for handmade stuff, in general. I will try to do more throughout the year, in hopes that next year I can do Handmade Holidays again.

Baby steps, right?

So, you know how Christmas is NOT supposed to be all about getting things? Well, it’s not. At least I don’t feel that it is for me and my family. My kids certainly do love getting gifts and they might like that just a tad more than anything else. Meanwhile, since I am not religious, at all, it’s not really about God or Christ, either. I also celebrate Hanukkah with my family, though we aren’t Jewish (though some relatives on my husband’s side of the family are actually Jewish.) I do light the candles on the menorah and think about miracles of oil lasting, but I don’t really connect with that on any kind of LITERAL level.

So one may find it at first a little odd, if they were to peek in our window (but not in a creepy way, thanks) to see what traditions we have around here. I like to make HAM for Christmas. Christmas and Hanukkah overlap, often enough, so there are times when we have a nice big HAM on the same table as a MENORAH. Is this sacrilegious? Ham is made from the noble creature, the pig. Pork is a big NO-NO of course, never being kosher no matter how much one may pray over it. Our Christmas tree was itty bitty, and some of my houseplants were about equally adorned.

We do hang stockings by the fire with care. And I love singing Christmas carols - and even am guilty of going to Pandora.com and playing Christmas music for hours on end.

Not everyone likes this sort of thing, this casual adaptation of religious holidays. I know the cynical folks out there are likely to scoff at us, thinking we are wrong to celebrate holidays when we are not religious.

But my point is that there are a series of traditions we follow. They don’t exactly go together, this mixed bag of delights. Lighting the menorah and eating ham, or singing Christmas carols but also reciting a prayer in Hebrew — a language I don’t speak at all other than to know this ONE prayer for lighting of candles on Hanukkah.

And what is the purpose of celebrating a holiday that is associated with a religion that you don’t even participate in??

The purpose is simple. It’s family. It’s being home with people you love. It’s taking time and effort to make traditions that are fun and real and loving. This isn’t about some external commandment to be a certain way. This is about finding the love and the home and the family.

So I had a great Hannumas/Chrismakkah, and it wasn’t all about What I Got for Christmas.

However, that said, I got some GREAT STUFF. I asked for– and received– a Rice Cooker and a cotton duvet for my silk comforter. Tonight I made my first rice dinner in the rice cooker, and it was really easy, and fun. My thoughtful inlaws also got me a big cookbook to go with the rice cooker– it has a zillion recipes of things that you can make in a rice cooker. (Rice! Brown Rice! Basmati Rice! Sticky Rice! Fluffy Rice!) Seriously, though, you can also use this appliance for steaming veggies, and you can make all-in-one meals by dicing other ingredients and mixing with the rice.

Tonight I used leftovers plus rice to make a really savory dish. I diced leftover Christmas ham (naturally raised, no anti-biotics, humanely treated, local pig: what we around here call “Happy Pig”) and artichoke heart, tossed in some sweet corn that I’d put up in the freezer this summer, and about a half cup of diced leek. Together with basmati rice, this was a really nice little dinner. Carla and Annie even said it was good!

The duvet is nice, too. I took a nap under it today, while my children systematically destroyed the house played nicely together downstairs.

I am so much enjoying my time off. The kids are, too. We went to NYC yesterday and had a really fun time. We did a bunch of walking, and also managed to spend some time in taxi cabs as well. It was a beautiful day, and we successfully navigated the city, taking in Rockerfeller Center and its enormous Christmas tree, as well as visiting the American Girl store. My kids got to each bring home a little pet from there– a cat named Licorice and a dog named Sugar.

Licorice was especially exciting because Annie has been wanting Licorice for over a year. We went to the store, figuring we could simply get a Licorice cat. When we asked one associate about it, we were told that Licorice had been discontinued– in fact pulled from the shelves to make way for their new inventory. Oh No! But then one other person working there suddenly said, “oh wait! Looks like there’s JUST ONE LEFT!”

So there it was… THE LAST LICORICE CAT LEFT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, or so says Annie. She was so sad for the rest of the world, that nobody else would ever be able to get a Licorice, but she was pretty delighted to have snatched up the VERY LAST ONE, anyway.

After we successfully rescued Licorice and Sugar from the store, we hopped into a cab on Madison Avenue –

[Me: Mom, if we walk over to Madison, we can get a cab from there, it goes in the right direction. Mom: Oh, OK. (starts walking in wrong direction) Me: Mom, Madison Avenue is THIS way. (Thinking: Who’s the one who isn’t WITH IT?)]

– and off we went to Central Park West, where we snacked on hotdogs from a vendor (ew…. I know…. but it is kind of a NYC tradition… yuck) and a variety of kid-friendly foods that I’d packed. After that, we braved the ultra crowded American Museum of Natural History. I think we closely examined every single mineral, precious stone, and gem in the large and incredible gem room. We marveled at the dinosaur bones. We oogled the meteorites. We dashed through quickly but admiringly observing the many different skulls of mankind. It really brings to the forefront the fact that humans are just one species of many– Evolution is real! Wow, neato!

Then via taxi we headed back to Penn station, and a train ride back home. A very full day. I really enjoyed that last taxi ride, because we went down Broadway and I got to see Times Square.

I like NYC. It’s all crowded and bustle-y. But I am glad to be home. I spent today in my pajamas. Yay for winter breaks.

I hope all of you out there got what you wanted for Christmas– and I wish you all a very Happy New Year.

<- BEGIN WHINY UNAPPRECIATIVE POST THAT NEGLECTS TO MENTION WHAT A VERY NICE XMAS THIS WAS ->
My mom has been staying with us since Christmas Eve — she arrived that afternoon. It has been a good visit, but my patience with her is growing thin.

She annoys the crap out of me.

Quite a while back, she promised my kids a trip to the American Girl Place in New York City. This glitzy store boasts floor after floor of overpriced dolls and accessories galore. You can also get your doll’s hair styled there, or bring her to the hospital for repairs. There is a theater as well as a restaurant where your doll gets to sit in a special chair at the table with you. And is served food. I kid you not.

We went to this fabulous place once before, and my mom bought each of my kids a doll. Carla got an Emily doll, and has enjoyed her immensely. She does take quite good care of Emily. Annie actually got two dolls — the Bitty Twins. These are sold together, and geared toward younger kids, so it seemed a good idea for Annie to get the twins. They are a handful, alright. I mean really, you have twice as many dolls to care for (four shoes to not lose!) and when you try to take them anywhere, both your hands are literally full. Just like real live twins!

Now it’s come to be time to go back there again, only this time mom’s not promising to get them more dolls. Just accessories for the dolls they already have. Sigh - please someone explain to me what the point of all this is?? It’s one thing to go there, for the experience, ONCE. We did that. Can we do something else fun in NYC this time?

I am all for taking my kids to the Big Apple and exposing them to culture, museums, Chinatown, or whatever. There is much good and funky and interesting in NYC. The American Girl Place? NOT SO MUCH.

Mother also wants us to go home with her tomorrow, stay over at her house, then drive into the city on Monday with her to go to the American Girl Place. NO THANKS WE JUST HAD A FIVE DAY VISIT AND YOU WANT ME TO GO AND EXTEND THAT AND STAY AT YOUR HOUSE ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?

So yeah. I told her, no thanks, I’d like to make it a day trip. We’ll meet you in NYC. Now we are making plans of how best to do this all, and she’s telling me do this, do that, don’t go this way, go that way. It is making me crazy. She tried to claim it was a long walk “because there are so many people.” Huh? It’s 1.2 miles — okay, that’s a pretty long walk — but unless the streets are absolutely jam packed, I don’t see what the number of people in the city has to do with the length of the walk.

If we get tired, we can always hail a cab. But why not give the walk a try, that’s all I am saying. There’s much to see along the way, including the Empire State Building and the New York Public Library. I would enjoy that. Ugh, but Mother keeps on nattering on about how we shouldn’t try to do that as a walk. It’s one thing to tell me ONCE but um… now, you’ve said, SHUT UP ALREADY. I had to leave the room.

Actually, I had another reason to leave the room, which was that I needed to visit the bathroom. So, okay, that’s fine. I walk away, heading for the stairs and she’s STILL GOING ON AND ON about the walk. To my husband. Who is sitting at the living room computer, looking up stuff on google maps. He says — haltingly– “Um. Pann isn’t in the room anymore, you know?”

To which she replies… “Oh I know… I’m just telling you… She’s like, you know, not with it.”

I hear this from upstairs. I am even more annoyed. The most clueless person that I know just called me “not with it.”

Grr.

About a week ago, I started making some handmade Christmas cards — holiday cards, if you prefer. Seasonal greeting cards, perhaps. I started by seeking out fun or interesting or nice quotes (thanks, google!) and then doodling these quotes on some pretty scrap paper that I happen to have in a pile on my desk. I added some color (oil pastels, markers, color pencils, whatever was at hand) and created a few cards.

As I was making the cards, I started to wonder: Is it possible for me to make this a Handmade Holiday season? What if I make it a goal to give 100% home made / hand made gifts to my friends and family? And, dare I say, even to my CHILDREN? Or would they be scarred for life?

Probably, they would not be scarred. For one thing, Santa will bring them stuff his elves in China have been hard at work making. For another, Grandma and Nonna will surely fill in where Santa leaves off. So, it’s not like I’m saying, hey kiddo, here’s some schlocky thing your Momma made you, instead of that fabulous pthalate-filled item that you really, really, wanted.

But really, what if I make something for everyone on my list? My list of gifts would look something like this:

Fleece Winter Hat
Rag Doll
Home made Coloring Book
Cookies
Biscotti
Fleece Scarf
Handmade Felt Critters
Sock Puppet
Handmade Felt Puppets
Throw Quilt
Quilted Pot Holder
Handmade Place Mats
Handmade Napkins
Homemade Pumpkin Butter with Loaf of Pumpkin Bread
Decorative Recipe Book
Homemade Calendar with Kids Photos
(Write & Illustrate my own) Picture Book

Tell me, honestly, does this sound cheap or tacky? An inherently bad idea? Ridiculously impractical? I mean, for me — remember, I wrote a novel last month. What can stop me now?

I want to give people nice things, but I really don’t have much money to spend. I want to emphasize the thought, rather than the spending. I want to avoid impulse purchases, annoying clutter, holiday hatred, shopping malls, muzak, and rabid consumerism.

I even like the sound of this idea: Handmade Holidays. I haven’t googled this phrase yet, as I want to continue (even if briefly) to enjoy the fantasy that I thought this idea up with complete originality and incredible vision. Ahem.

Have a Handmade Holiday!

Awww…. you know, just when I was thinking, ugh, maybe nobody out there reads this blog anymore, maybe nobody out there cares… along comes someone with a sweet sentiment to make my day.

Thanks, Lisa, mom to AJ at Option Adoption, for tagging me and passing on this award. She’s going through some scary stuff right now, so send some virtual hugs her way.

Now, the way this works, is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers. I don’t know if I will be able to choose 7, but I’ll list as many as I can. If you are tagged, then that means I love your blog. You can do this meme if you feel like it, or not!

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Where is your significant other? Bed
3. Your hair color? Blond
4. Your mother? Anxious
5. Your father? Melancholy
6. Your favorite thing? Family
7. Your dream last night? Fleeting
8. Your dream/goal? Peace
9. The room you’re in? Bedroom
10. Your hobby? Dabbling
11. Your fear? Disaster
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Here
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you’re not? Malicious
15. One of your wish list items? Travel
16. Where you grew up? NY
17. The last thing you did? Dishes
18. What are you wearing? Grunge
19. Your T.V.? Off
20. Your pet? Furry
21. Your computer? Warm
22. Your mood? Relaxed
23. Missing someone? No
24. Your car? Oasis
25. Something you’re not wearing? Diamonds
26. Favorite store? Co-op
27. Your Summer? Happy
28. Love someone? Much
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Unknown

I love the following blogs:

My Mentally Ill Life
Swistle
It’s Twinsanity
Cooler Doula
Four Times the Fun
What Works for Us
And for the foodie in me, this is the absolute delicious place to go:
Straight From the Farm

It’s that time of year again: the season of giving, and receiving. The season of surprises and feasts, decorations and treats, excited children, coats and hats, and family get togethers.

Christmas arrives in just under three weeks– Hanukkah will be here a few days before Christmas. I write this now, in an attempt to win “Incredibly Obvious Post of the Year.” Also, to try to help myself move on from my sense of denial. I am not at all sure what happened to November, though of course I did write a novel towards the end of the month, if you can call it that. It took me a while to recover — physically — from the incredible strain caused by typing 50,000+ words. Yes, it was physically painful! But I did it!

So now what? I am trying to come to grips with the idea that we have to decide what to do about the holidays. My mom is lobbying hard to ask me to come to her house, though she’s indicated that she would be wiling to come stay with us. If that is going to happen, I need to put aside a couple hundred bucks for a house cleaner to come and take apart the house again. Or else maybe, I need to afix a fanny rocket to my derriere, drink a case of Red Bull, and go bonkers doing it myself.

On the other hand, my dad has invited us to Florida, which we’ve done a couple times now, and it was really quite lovely. He lives in the Fort Myers Beach area, in a double-wide with an orange tree behind it. There’s a pool just down the lane, and the kids love it there. I enjoy it a lot, too, and to be honest I would rather go visit my dad in Florida, than stay up at my mom’s or else go insane trying to bring my home up to mom’s standards.

Alas, it is pricey as heck to travel this year, and not only would it be tough to pay for airfare, but Drob is also lacking in time off, so that is kind of off the table. Which makes me sad — who knows if this will even be an option next year.

Then there’s the question of presents for everyone. Hmmm. Can we just skip presents this year? The kids say “no.” They have already made lists of what they want, one for each of them, and one for each of our three cats. I wonder why they didn’t make a list for me and their dad?

What did I win? NaNoWrimo! I won a very sketchy first draft of a novel, which is 50,241 words all put near one another in one big google document. I am not sure how I feel about this, but I think it’s kind of good.

What am I going to do now? Well seeing as how it’s nearly 3 PM and my family is rather hungry and I am, too, I think I will head downstairs and see what leftovers we will all agree to eat.

I am back home. I just met my word goal for the day, 34k. It is starting to look like I might actually write 50k before the end of the month, as long as I can keep up the pace.

It’s after one in the morning and I think I will go to bed. Tomorrow we are having a large family get together with Drob’s extended family, and I don’t want to be too tired to enjoy it. The more annoying elements of his family are not going to be there, or so I’m told, and so I am really looking forward to the event.

My mom sort of gave me a non-apology apology for having criticized the kids making a ‘mess’. It was not really all that messy, but mom’s used to having everything spotless. She made comments to me about the mess, which annoyed me, but I blew her off saying, “News flash! Children create mess using small toys! Film at eleven!” I chuckled and told her not to worry, that we would clean up before we left.

We brought home the remains of the turkey, and I cut away the meat from the carcass, then placed the bones in the crock pot to make soup. Soup and writing and writing and soup. The house is already starting to smell delicious.

Tomorrow, we feast again! No wonder we are a culture with lots of extra pounds around our waists… our culture is food obsessed. Or, at least I know that I am. Maybe I can work this into my novel somehow.

I know I’m deep into thinking about these characters because for the last couple of nights, they visited me in my dreams. Hmmm… dreams are a fun thing to put in a novel.

There is a lot of thinking going on in my novel, but not much action. Hmmmm…. action is something that is fun to put into a novel.

Anyway, I’m at 34,178 words if you want to know and now I am off to bed. Goodnight!